Satires on the Sham Squire and his Friends.

Slang Satires on Shamado and his Friends.

By desire of the Publisher and others, we give, unabridged, in this Appendix the songs from which in the main volume we quoted a few stanzas. The following is exhumed from the dusty file of the *Dublin Evening Post *of April 4, 1789. A tradition ascribes the authorship to a gentleman, long and familiarly known in Ireland as “Pleasant Ned Lysaght:”- **

The Informers.

**Tune - “The night before Larry was stretch’d.”

Pandemonium’s dread court was convened by mandates from Beelzebub’s see,

And a horrible gloominess reign’d through the vault at its sovereign’s beck;

The chiefs were arranged near his throne; each imp took his specified station;

All impatient until it was known whether anything threaten’d the nation,

Or their friends had relinquish’d their yoke.

At length the grim despot arose, (perceiving the fears of the meeting,)

His infernal intent to disclose; and thus he began, after greeting:-

“Chiefs, things of the highest import, well worthy, I deem, your attention,

Have occasion’d this summons to court for holding a weighty convention,

As I always take counsel in need.

“To you I need hardly avow that my joys spring from mankind’s undoing,

And your duty will urge you, I trow, to assist in a scheme I’ve been brewing.

Occasion most apt for my ends having started to try your allegiance,

I shall shortly distinguish my friends by the promptitude of their obedience;

Then, see that my will be observed.

“Sweet confusion, if I have success, shall reward every care endeavour,

And the station of Premier shall bless the devil who proves the most clever.

Then look to your agents on earth, and cull who may best be relied on,

*To a plan *we ourselves will give birth, - do you search out whom

you can confide in,

And lot them be drawn to our aid.”

Then Beelzebub paused for reply; but their tumult assail’d him like thunder,

Each having some friend in his eye, they near split his tympanums asunder.

Albeit though used to much din, their zeal overleap’d all precedent,

Till the sov’reign, with horrible *grin, looked *to *silence *the most disobedient,

And awed the demoniac crew.

His Demosthen’ gave in black rolls of their pets in our capital city,

And Beelzebub smiled at long scrolls, when ‘twas moved to select a committee.

He himself named Shamado as head; others rank’d in their order of merit.

---y ---ra and us then led; and ---lton to the assembly submitted,

All these were allow’d good and true.

My plan, then, concisely is this: Shamado must counsel Dick ---y, his wigeon,

To ensure - hit, miss, - and do you help to forward his pigeon.

This signal must set on our crew, who eagerly strain for probation,

And (honour now bid an adieu) let each urge his black information.

The rest is committed to fate.”

Hell rung with the loudest applause, and Beelzebub’s pride was inflated;

The idea was his - his the cause; every demon was likewise elated.

The court then dissolved in a blaze; each fiend laid his plan of proceeding,

And, taking their devious ways, exulted, with hope of succeeding,

In every malevolent aim.

From Erebus’ depths rose each elf, who glow’d with infernal desire;

But their prince judged it fit that himself should alone hold confab with the Squire.

Close intimates long though they stood, this ease call’d for greater demerit,

And conscience, though purged from all good, might have wanted

For there’s nothing like aid from a chum.

At his elbow the prince straight appear’d, surrounded with sulphurous vapour,

Just as Shamado foundation had rear’d of a lie for his infamous paper.

Mutual greetings soon pass between friends who are rarely or ever asunder;

So Beelzebub mention’d the ends of th’ assembly as holden just under,

And told him the state of the case.

‘Tis well,” said Shamado. “Gracious sire, your law has been; aways my pleasure;

I conceive what your highness desires, - ‘tis my duty to second the measure.

The deeper I plunge for your sake, the higher I raise my condition;

Then who would his fealty break to a prince who thus feeds his ambition,

And gratifies every desire?

“Through life I’ve acknowledged thy aid, and as constantly tasted thy bounty,-

Prom the Newgate solicitor’s trade, till a sub-sheriff placed in the county.

Shall I halt in the midst of my sins, or sink fainting and trembling before ‘em,

When my honour thick-spreading begins - when, in fine, I am one of the quorum,

And may in the Senate be placed.

“No, my liege. Since thy favour increase, I am tied by their strong obligation;

And, as vacant young minister’s place, let your *faithful *engage in the station.”

The sov’reign, well pleased with the bit, sent an imp in his suite with a bullet,

Told his counsel to make out the writ, and Shamado, the justice, would fill it, -

The fittest on earth for the charge.

Now the bustle of office began, and the Devil content with’s chief menial,

Set him loose for the rapine of man, as he acted from motives congenial.

Like principles run through the group, each eagerly works in his function,

And their prince must confess such a troop never served him before in *conjunctiom,

*And never again may be join’d.

---

**A New Song to the “Tune of Larry”

***(From the Dublin Evening Post of May 5, *1789.)

Oh, de night afore Edgwort was tried,

De Council dey met in despair,

Geo Jos--- was there; and beside

Was a doctor, a lord, and a player.*

Justice Sham den silence proclaim’d,

De Bullies dey all of dem harken’d;

Poor Edgewort says he will be framed;

His daylights perhaps will be darken’d,

Unless we can lend him a hand.

“Be de hokey!” says Geo, “I ‘m afraid

I can’t get him cut of his trouble;

His blinkers I know they will shade,

If his lordship don’t tip him de double.

To de Castle I ‘d have him to go;

He’s de man dat can do such a job dere,

And get out de red-coats you know;

And den we can keep off de mob dere,

His peepers derby we can save.”

No sooner he ‘d spoke de word whole,

But de colour edged off from dere faces;

Says Roscius ** “Now splinter your soul.

I ‘d, by ---s, throw aces;

Ay, rather be niek’d three times o’er,

Supposing ‘twas on de last stake,

Den hear you say so any more;

‘Twas a lie dat yourself you did make,

To go for to frighten do Sham.

“I ‘m sorry such falseness to see

Of a boy dat was bred in our school;

You dog, if it was not for he,

You ‘d often gone hungry to ---.

And now for a damnable tief

To go and invent such a lie,

I put your poor master in pain.”

Away den de Quack he did fly,

And de Council bruk up like a shot.

Says Sham, “He’s a boy of my own,

by the ties of relation endear’d,-

A fellow dat’s proof to de bone,

Nor conscience nor devil e’er fear’d.

Young Roscrus, I know, will subscribe,

Becase dey have often play’d hazard;

De Sheriff we ‘ll try for to bribe,

And not let ‘em pelt his poor mazzard,

To go for to mark it wid shame.”

Says the Quack, “Now blister my limbs,

but I send him a great deal of pity;

What signifies people’s nice whims?

We know he can swear very pritty.

In his paper he shall have de daub.

I’ll tell Buckey de people will bless him,

If now he will comfort poor Bob,

When do laws of de land do distress him;

But I’m told they will tell de whole truth.”

• For a key to these characters, see Chapter 2

**Richard Daly.

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